Republicans are having so much trouble passing any
legislation that they clearly need some suggestions to
enhance their overall performance and meet at least a
few goals. They have obviously been aiming far too high,
as in their failed attempt to oust the Homeland Security
boss Alejandro Mayorkas, and I suspect the same
problem will arise in their efforts to impeach President
Sure, the poet Robert Browning famously said “A man’s
reach should exceed his grasp,” but this big idea
obviously does not apply in every situation: “A man’s
grasp should be what he can reach” makes far more
sense in today’s world. What Republicans must do to
achieve modest legislative success is to set more realistic,
achievable goals without sacrificing their basic values.
Therefore, we sincerely hope that the following list may
enhance Republican ability to continue their struggle to
govern our nation.
The most powerful feature of these
prescriptions is that they keep Republicans from aiming
too high, but obtain achievable results that remain well
within the bounds of their political theories. Granted, all
these proposals require abolishment, but they abolish
restrictions that many Republicans already DO oppose.
They are all achievable, provided that obstruction from
liberals is kept to a minimum.
1) Abolish all nutritional labeling on food packages. Too
few people actually read them to justify their existence,
and the current requirements are an expensive wase of
effort, not to mention how space on packaging could be
devoted to more interesting topics, such as issues that
2) Abolish all laws that demand increased efficiency in
motor vehicles. Clearly the vast majority of Americans
prefer SUVs with powerful engines to tiny little cars, so
demands for improved gas mileage are a minor concern
to the vast majority. Also, the constant insistence on
efficiency increases the cost of all vehicles, putting
consumers at risk of driving antiquated cars that are
3) Abolish all speed limits on highways. People do not
follow the rules anyway, and therefore such restrictive
speed laws, like prohibition, are ultimately
4) Abolish all gun control and ammunition laws. Like
prohibition of alcohol, these laws are not enforceable.
With 400 million guns mow in our nation, it is abundantly
clear that gun control can never be successfully enforced.
5) Abolish all anti-Abolitionism. If a school district or a
library committee decides to abolish books, films,
recordings, etc., it’s their perfect right to do so. If anti-
Abolitionists want to restore a book, film, etc. to
circulation, they also have that perfect right. So, they
should shut up and exercise that right instead of
constantly whining about Abolitionist censorship.
6) Abolish all parking meters. They clearly discriminate
against drivers in favor of pedestrians and bicycle riders!
Pass a simple law that restricts the time any car can park
in a given location and enforce it simply by marking car
tires at specified intervals.
7) Abolish all excessive lawsuit damage awards and
reduce them to $1 million maximum. The brutal $83.3
mandated to E. Jean Carroll against your own
presidential candidate Donald Trump is but one of many
examples of ridiculously excessive awards in lawsuits
promoted by greed-intoxicated attorneys.
8) Abolish all flexible sentencing of convicted criminals.
Set definite regulations for all crimes and follow them to
the letter. Clearly the constant maneuvering and
negotiation that now occurs in our courts is a waste of
time and money that only benefits greed-intoxicated
9) Abolish all excessive salaries of all professional
athletes. A million dollars a year maximum seems quite
reasonable, though negotiations might be allowed. As
things now stand, ordinary folks can barely afford toattend a game,
and this sad fact explains much of today’s
political discontent. Why, they reasonably ask, should a
guy get $100 million to swing at a baseball and miss, or
shoot a basketball and miss, while they piddle hopelessly
along at the minimum wage?